Who's the fat girl?

I'm 39... which is perilously close to 40. (

I am not one of those people who is scared of 40, I'm actually convinced that 40 is right where I am supposed to be.  I did however decide I wanted to make sure I was better at 40 than I was at 20 so I set myself 3 pretty simple goals.

1. be thinner at 40 than I was at 20
2. quit smoking
3. be nicer

This blog is my how I try to keep these goals in check.  I may not reach them, I may do even better than I had planned. 

I also have been avoiding telling any of my family or friends that this blog exists so if you've found it - consider it our little secret.  I talk trash sometimes to clear my head and I wouldn't want to hurt any of their feelings... but, since I don't know you and you only partially know me...

The other thing I struggle with is the whole picture thing.  I love reading other people's blogs and looking at their pictures and I would really like to have the balls to put mine out there.  But, I choose not to.   Not because I think I look so horrible or fat... but because, I really want this to be my (our) little secret. 

What you should know for a frame of reference is this -
I live in Ohio
I maxed out at 245 and I'm down to 210 right now (9/11).
I am married
I have 2 teenage sons
I used to be very punk rock and now I work in a sales management and cannot stand it
I feel like there is more out there for me
I always say yes

xoxo -  welcome to my secret.

*** some updates -
1. I'm 42 now
2. I still smoke when I drink
3. I'm not necessarily nicer - I just try to keep my mouth shut more
4. I'm still the most rockin' girl I know.