Ode to Thursday..

Which is by and far the greatest day of the week.
"Why?"  you say, well because it is - in fact - the real beginning of the weekend. 

Here's the deal.
By Thursday, you are starting to finalize your plans for Friday night, laying out the plan for Saturday and figuring out what you're going to do on Sunday. 

If you grew up in the 80's Thursday night kicked off three days of freedom with the NBC television line up.
Seinfeld, Friends, ER.  Then you hip hoppity through Friday to the Friday night party.. etc, etc.

I love Thursdays.  They sound like Thor - who is a badass (regardless of the stupid move version where the pointy nosed black swan star wars chick whined the whole time.)  Thor swings a monster bat.  Speaking softly and carrying a big bat is cool, ergo Thor is cool, ergo Thursday.  For those of you who aspire to win on Jeopardy - read this.

So if Thursday makes me smile - and it usually does-  I've decided Thursdays will be a must post day.

Heretofore known as:  Thursday Thunder  (which loosely translates into -my fucking rant of the week). 

And - because I am in a major funk for no apparent reason- I solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth (as I see it) so help me God(dess). 

Old gay man waiters
What the fuck is your problem.  Do I smell? Is there a reason you saunter to my table with such disdain?  Do you believe that because I am somewhat overweight I will require you to do some kind of extra work?  Do you have any idea how much of a foodie I really am and regardless of your own training I could likely school ya' on a few things even though right now I look a bit like a laid out Wal-mart version of a 4th grade teacher.  Fuck you, old man gay waiter.  You chose this gig as your career - not me.  Bring me my micro brew fruit infused beer with a fucking smile before I split your lip (or tip you less than the 20% you think you are entitled to)

Skinny jean wearing Euroamericans
Just like we have white trash in America, there exists in the world no small number of Eurotrash that trot the globe.  The difference is, Eurotrash is rich (otherwise they could not afford 3 week vacations in the states).  Should you think you have seen one in your local major metropolitan airport - you probably have. Here's some clues: 
1. there is a strange mix of expensive cologne and body odor
2. jeans - skinny jeans, set low on the waist, usually being pulled down by an ipod strategically placed so that you can see just the top - and know they paid for it
3. Adidas or some other sport wear brand top, shoes etc. paired with a big expensive bag
4. grimy hair
I want to like them for coming to America and spending their money.  They just kind of smell.

Young love with no future
Have you ever found yourself looking in the paper on Sunday morning at the wedding and engagement announcements?  Sometimes you can see on their faces that it is just not going to work.  Sometimes it really was not meant to be.  I so want to warn them.

Shaving my legs - why or why not?
Is it really necessary to have your legs shaved all the time.  Even when you're wearing jeans for a few days and you are not in the mood for sex?  Naw... I didn't think so.  Is it also true that you generally only shave your legs when you want to get laid or are wearing a dress?  Yep.... me too.

Twitter stalking
I freely admit to using social networking to stalk my kids.  They are teenage boys for christsakes.  Getting information out of them can be trickier than pulling gum out of your hair (and equally as messy).