Who are the people who read the business section?

A detour at lunch today led me to Wendy's.  Who doesn't absolutely love the chili?  I mean really, really great for $1.59 and just over 200 calories.

With very limited time and completely alone I sat quietly and ate alone.  It took me 10 minutes.

I am not one of those people who is intimidated by eating alone or going out alone or going to the movies alone.  I like the anonymity of the whole thing.  In fact going to the movies by myself (especially a matinee) with a tub of popcorn and a stack to tissues is one of my most favorite things.... but I digress.

So, sitting in the now wifi enhanced Wendy's sucking down my chili, I was looking around the restaurant to check out the surroundings.  Here, in no particular order, are the group of misfits I discovered -

A.  50 ish overweight businessman.  Reading the business section of the Plain Dealer.  Who does this, really?  I don't understand what is in the business section that means anything to me.  I have never had a job where there is even one headline I care about let alone one I'm going to act on.  Shit, I barely even understand what they talking about and I've had write ups in the damn business section.   Who reads the business section? and what EXACTLY are they looking for?   Sometimes I wish I was important enough to need to read it.

B. 40 something dad.  With a hoodie on.  With the hood up.  With his laptop open to facebook and not eating or drinking anything but watching CNN on the big screen TV and seemingly actually caring about what the talking head Blondie was carrying on about.  Again, really?  You're sitting in a Wendy's during the middle of the day on a Thursday.  Are you really planning on getting a piece of the Facebook IPO?  and why in all that is holy did you have your hood up?

C. 40 something mom and her teenage daughter.  OK Stop.  There is absolutely no reason I can ever see or understand that explains why you would want to wear sweatpants with words on your ass.  What the shiznit is that all about?  I don't care how old or young you are there is absolutely no reason to do it.  Ever.  Are "juicy" sweatpants and Ugg boots de'rigeur everywhere or just in the hell that is Ohio.  (p.s. - did you know that all the world's freakiest serial killers are from Ohio? - look it up)

D.  20 something goth couple.  I got hand it to these world of warcraft kids.  They rock the style, right?  Huge guy, fairy girl, both dyed black hair and smelling of smoke.  Laptops open, gaming while enjoying their fries.  I think they should probably be working or something but... they are in their 20's so - whatever.

E.F.G.and H.  The senior patrol.  Apparently after you get to be a card carrying member of the AARP you get free "senior drinks" at Wendy's.  In the whole of my existence I never understood drinking coffee with a hamburger but I think something may switch when you get older and constantly need caffeine.  Hamburgers don't taste good with coffee.  I've tried it.  They don't.  This group of go-getters have set up shop in the Wendy's similar to the breakfast crowd at any given McDonalds on any given morning.  They are scattered throughout the building in a way that allows them to talk to one another without actually having to commit.  They wear the most comfortable shoes.  They know the value menu by heart and can get in and out at lunch for under three bucks.  I love these guys.  They rock.